If you chuckled knowingly at the title to this post, you are likely on the older side. How do I know? Because I am on the older side. For the rest of you, this was a popular song by Morris Albert that came out in 1974 (or as one of my daughters put it, “way back in the 1900s”) and made it to #2 on the Adult Contemporary charts.
If you haven’t read my previous post, it would be a good idea to check out Are You Offended. As a quick review, it is OUR choice to take offense or to not take offense at something. We can choose to laugh at ourselves and choose not to let the words of others dictate our lives.
We also need to understand who the people are who are always taking offense. They are the ones who never did grow up and feel that everyone should hold their feelings, ideas, etc. at the highest level.
For this post, I want to look at the value of feelings, because an offense produces a feeling; only a feeling. And when looking at the spectrum of importance, feelings rank pretty far down the list. Certainly not #2 on the Adult Contemporary charts.
However, many more people, companies, and governments are taking feelings so seriously that they will make multi-million dollar policy changes based on how a few hundred people feel. And the fact is, and I want you to hear this loud and clear (you may want to cover your ears for this), “NO ONE CARES HOW YOU FEEL!!!” It’s all a big lie. And a dangerous lie to boot.
People DO care how you act though. And that has always been what has mattered. The economy, our relationships, every accomplishment, has all been based on what you do. Every person who has ever said they liked you, every time your parent or teacher gave you the benefit of the doubt, every time a coach said, “Congratulations, you made the team,” all of this was because of how you acted; on what you did.
None of this was ever given based on how you felt. Your teachers, if they are good teachers, don’t give you an “A” instead of a “D” because they know you’d feel bad. Your boss doesn’t give you a raise because he knows it will make you feel good. You don’t get a gold metal because that would make you happy. These are all earned.
The bottom line is this, we all need to take a long hard look at how we respond to others. People are going to mess up and say the wrong things. We can choose to take offense or not.
However, there are those who not only take offense, they nurture it and feed it. And when enough people do this, the destruction can be more massive than a nuclear explosion.
Want proof? Portland, Seattle, Chicago, New York, Washington DC, Minneapolis, St. Louis, etc., etc., etc. Why have these places been destroyed by riots? Feelings. Nothing more than feelings.
Let me know how you feel about this post. Then again, maybe you should let me know what you think. Write a comment below. And, thanks for reading.