When I was a kid, I was the object of what today would be called verbal bullying. It started when I entered my teen years and continued through the end of high school. Surprisingly, the kids dishing this abuse out had at one time been my friends. It became so intense that at one point I found myself alone in a small closet weeping so uncontrollably that I missed my next class.
As you can probably imagine, this had a profound effect on me. For the next ten years of my life, I struggled to trust anyone who said they were my friend. Friends turn on you. At least mine did. So, what does this have to do with the basic principles of life? More than you think.
The First Principle of life and success we will discuss is “I am Responsible.” I am responsible for my past, my present, and my future. Wait just one second!! How can I be responsible for the abuse others did to me? Let me explain. Please, continue reading.
Truly, I am not responsible for the actions of others, but I am responsible for how I choose to deal with it today. I have two choices, really. If I am in a bad spot right now, I could choose to blame in on what happened to me in the past. This is what I call living in the “If only…” It’s saying, “If only that hadn’t happened to me, I would be in a better place. I would be successful. I would be somebody.” This is in essence living in a fantasy world. Why? Because what happened to you in the past…happened. It cannot be changed. Therefore, being frozen in your undesirable circumstances based on something you wish had not occurred in your past, is your choice. You are responsible.
The better choice is what I call the “Now what.” Your past happened. It cannot be changed. Now what? What can I learn from this? How can I move on? You see, we need to make friends with our past, embrace it as part of us, and then move on. It took me ten years to choose to change my direction, but this is the road I eventually took, and am I ever glad I did. It is true freedom.
Secondly, we are responsible for the decisions we make in the present. The buck stops with you. It is sheer folly to blame others for the choices you make. The fact is that the consequences, as well as the rewards come directly from the decisions you make today. Every word you say and every action you take sets in motion things that would not otherwise have happened had we not said or did those things. Again, you are responsible.
Consequently, these choices also have a direct impact on our future direction. This is because every choice we make, and even the actions we do not take, will set in motion processes that will affect not only our future, but the future of others, even those yet not born. Making decisions is an awesome responsibility, but it is our responsibility. So, choose wisely. How? Keep checking back to this blog. I’ll be answering this, and many other questions you may have.
If you would like to hear more about these principles as well as a bunch of other stuff about life, check out my Workshops, Seminars, and Retreats by clicking here. And if you would like to book me at your workplace, church, or other function, drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. I will be sure to get you a current media kit. Until then, what are some choices you have made in the past that have had an impact on you today? Let me know by commenting below.